dreams/sacrifices

Do you remember a time of hope?  Where your dreams don't just swim around in your head- you had a chance at making them your reality.  When the world was your stage to shine, instead of being your conspirator.  Do you recall a time of being able to seize the moment- seize your life, captivate the world with your glory?  Was there ever a time you knew you could make it happen?

what happens

    when that dream

                                   expires?

You think that if you work hard enough, that you will be able to see the fruit of your labor.  Part of you still clings on to that glimmer of hope. Maybe if you work harder.  SMILE WIDER.  Laugh longer.  At what point do you break down and realize that no matter what you do, it's simply not in your control.  You realize that you just aren't good enough.  Do you clutch on to that daydream of self-improvement and exhaust yourself, trying to outdo yourself?  Or do you surrender and let the candle burn down to the wick?  What the fuck do you do?  Is this in your control, or do you really suck that much?

Maybe if you would just fucking apply yourself.  LOVE STRONGER, WORK MORE,  Clean meticulously,  Keep everyone happy, then just maybe you'll be okay.  Do you keep reaching for something that's out of your grasp?  Should you even muster the effort in doing so? 

How fucking important are YOU, in comparison to everyone else?  Are you the lead role, a supporting member, or an extra?  Do other people's happiness equate to yours? 

Make more sacrifices.  Give yourself up.

You're not that goddamned special.