That's what my life has been like lately.
What you deem to be your personal business, is no longer yours. You're scared to do something seemingly innocent because you know that you will plummet into a heap of deranged criticism. You don't feel like your motives are wrong. You know that your heart is good, and your intentions are pure. Miscalculate one breath, and you're an awful person.
Try to escape a tyrant, masquerading as a saint. The physical being becomes that voice in the back of your head, beating your conscience into submission. Those venomous words resonate in your mind. You try to argue back. Your convictions scream, and you try to muster up every bit of courage to let your mouth mirror your thoughts. No, you just stay silent. It could be because you know how much worse you'll make it if you don't comply. It could be that you're not allowed to be audible.
Would you run into a fire that has already scarred you beyond belief?
[and now you know that you can choose to lose the part of your heart where your insides bruise]
Maybe this is a residual effect of the pathetic sap I made myself out to be in my teenage years. In a way, I kind of brought this upon myself with my submissive and naive nature. It's a matter of learning how to grow, so you're too big for it to swallow you.
Don't be fucking stupid, Katie.
